Passing Fair

It's My Wake!

2011-12-01T18:41:00.001-05:00

When I was about 14 years old, I had a dream about my own funeral. I don't remember how I died in the dream, or any of the other details of the dream before the funeral. What bothered me about this dream was the fact that no one attended my funeral. I decided to make sure there would be a few people attending by writing out a detailed plan for my funeral. Of course, I forgot to put this plan up and my mom found it. She checked me out of school because she thought I was suicidal. I wasn't. Just planning ahead.

I still think about my funeral occasionally, usually after someone I know has died. The plans changed pretty frequently until the last few years.

At the time of the original plan I was still sort of attending church, and most of the songs I chose were religious in nature. Since then my choice in music for my wake has changed significantly. Mostly. There are three songs I want played at my wake, in no particular order:

Amazing Grace

The Parting Glass

Feel Like Going Home

Beyond these three songs, the music is in the hands of two people, my sister and my best friend. I want lots of music, good food and drink. Especially the hard stuff, like Dr. Pepper.

I've also decided that I want to be cremated. The thought of being buried in a box is just more than I can take. It's not logical, but there you go. Also, cremation will prevent any possibility of my becoming a zombie.

college days

2011-04-15T22:00:00.005-04:00

This song always reminds me of the 4 years I spent at the University of Montevallo. There was nothing more angst ridden than 90's college radio.

Ice Cream Trucks

2011-04-09T20:24:00.003-04:00

Thanks to the variety for crime dramas I've watched over the years, I now suspect everyone driving an ice cream truck is a serial killer. The creepy, tinny sound of the music they play does not help.

Progress Toward Goals

2011-04-02T18:27:00.003-04:00

You may remember, I set some goals for myself. The progress has been a little hit and miss, but I think I'm gathering momentum now. Progress to date:

I've managed to limit some of my "want" purchasing. This tends to happen more consistently when I have a big project to concentrate on at work (thank you, Med-Verify). Since I have trouble leaving work at work, these projects tend to consume my time and attention to the detriment of pretty much everything else.

Limiting my carbonated soda intake has probably been the most difficult and the most hit and miss. While those big work projects may help with unnecessary spending, they also usually involve longer hours and extra stress. Since Dr. Pepper is the strongest beverage I drink, I have been know to hit it a little heavy while under stress. What can I say??? Now that the previously mentioned project is finished (my part, at any rate), I have managed to limit myself to one Dr. Pepper a day.

I think I am most proud of my progress this goal (to actually go to some of the places I have on my list to visit. Since establishing goals for myself, I've actually been to two of the places on my list: Callaway Gardens and Atlanta Botanical Garden. There are still 50+ places on the list, but those two trips are two more than I took all of last year. Baby steps.

April looks to be a pretty busy month. I have 2 work related trips and a photography class at Callaway Gardens scheduled already. Hopefully, I'll be able to make time to go to Providence Canyon sometime this month, as well.

In other news, I hope to have some new stained glass work done soon. I've been working on some patterns based on quilt squares. I also have a new turtle pattern I want to try out.

Poetry!

2011-02-16T20:56:00.004-05:00

It has been awhile since I've posted any poetry, but the world always needs more Dorothy Parker :)

Social Note

Lady, lady, should you meet
One whose ways are all discreet,
One who murmurs that his wife
Is the lodestar of his life,
One who keeps assuring you
That he never was untrue.
Never loved another one...
Lady, lady, better run!

- Dorothy Parker

Changes

2011-02-11T20:25:00.003-05:00

I know it's sort of late in the year for this, but I've decided to set some resolutions, or goals for myself. For the next few months anyway. The plan is to start March 1st.

Limit "want" purchases for myself. While I have more disposible income than some, I'd still like to have a little more of cushion for myself. Also, I'll hopefully be able to pay my car off early.
Limit my carbonated soda intake. I drink way too much Dr. Pepper. I think I'd feel better and eventually have more energy if I were drinking more water.
Actually go to some of the places I have on my list to visit. I'm not talking Europe (though that would be enjoyable), just place around Alabama and Georgia. I noticed last year I'd spent so much time waiting/wanting to go places hundreds, if not thousands, of miles away, when there are dozens of place much closer to home I've never been. Dismals Canyon, anyone??

I think that's enough for now. No need to get carried away and set myself up for failure. :\

Rooftop Shots

2011-01-15T20:49:00.004-05:00

My car is still in the shop (damn you, Tuscaloosa Pilot gas station!!!), so out of pity, my mom drove me to the hospital to take some pictures from the roof.

This is one of the shots I got today. Haven't finished processing the others.

Photographs

2011-01-08T09:00:00.001-05:00

This photo was taken on Christmas Eve, at the Merry-Go-Round here is town. At first I wasn't sure I liked this shot, but now I'm thinking it has possibilities. Now to decide if I like it better in black & white or in color...

Fortune Cookies

2011-01-07T21:54:00.004-05:00

I've been in a Chinese take-out rut lately. With the Chinese take-out has come the usual assortment of fortunes. But tonight's fortune...

Well, I'm just not sure I'm ready for fortune cookie induced guilt trips.

And what was this fortune?

"The world will look a little better with some love given by you!"

Drag the Lake, Charlie

2010-12-19T18:30:00.004-05:00

This Drive-by Truckers song has played at least 5 times in the last 4 hours via my "randomized" playlist in Windows Media Player. An impressive statistic when you consider there are 12,202 items in my playlist. So I thought I'd share. I know the style is not to everyone taste, but the lyrics are great!

Credit to my sister for recommending the group.

There's a monkey in my Christmas tree...

2010-12-11T18:45:00.001-05:00

Dolphins

2009-04-04T18:28:00.004-04:00

I started taking a stained glass class last year, in September. I had to skip several classes, because of other obligations, so I've only completed 2 other projects. One is a sun catcher, done mostly to learn the techniques. The next major project was a lamp shade, small but time consuming - the base is only about 8 inches across, but made of 300+ 1/2 inch pieces of glass.

Dolphins is the most recent, and I think, the best so far. I cut all the glass, except for 1 piece, and did the majority of the soldering. We put a copper patina on the solder, because I did not want the silver of the solder to distract from the blues and grays of the rest of the piece. It measures 12" x 18".

Now, I have to figure out where to hang it.

Next project is a gift, so can't say much else about it, but the project after that will be designed using quilting squares.

Grilling

2009-02-24T13:34:00.003-05:00

This grill would look wonderful in my backyard...

2007-10-15T09:35:00.000-04:00

I slack, therefore I am...

For my Columbus Day resolution, I'll begin updating here again.

:)

Now why didn't the IRS think of this??

2006-11-18T17:13:00.000-05:00

20 Eunuchs to Collect Taxes in India
Friday, November 10, 2006 12:31 AM EST
The Associated Press

PATNA, India (AP) — One cash-strapped Indian city has launched a unique collection service to dislodge payment from tax deadbeats: Door-to-door eunuchs.

Eunuchs — a term used in India to describe transvestites, postoperative transsexuals and hermaphrodites — traditionally make a living on tips for dancing at weddings or for blessing newborns. They frequently refuse to leave until they are given money.

Patna, the capital of Bihar state in eastern India, hired scores of them Wednesday to compel shop owners to pay their back taxes.

"We are confident that their reputation and persuasive skills will come in handy for the municipal authorities to collect taxes from defaulters," said Bharat Sharma, a revenue officer.

Only 2,000 of nearly a half-million people have been paying property tax and water supply charges to Patna's municipal authorities, and tax collection is less than one-third of a projected tax base of $15 million, said Atul Prasad, the municipal administrator.

Dancing and singing to the beat of drums and wearing bright saris, the eunuchs met with success in their new role Wednesday. They collected about $9,000 in cash and checks from shop owners in the city, Sharma said.

The eunuchs get 4 percent of what they collect from defaulters, and will soon be asked to help collect outstanding taxes from homeowners, Prasad said.

Breast Cancer Awareness

2006-10-06T13:42:00.000-04:00

Breast Cancer Awareness
Originally uploaded by threels.

On September 20th of this year my mother was diagnosed with multi-focal infiltrating lobular carcinoma. There was no history of breast cancer in our family. On September 26th, she had a bilateral modified radical mastectomy. There have been no signs of metastasis to the lymph nodes, liver or bones.

Her cancer was initially detected on a routine mammogram.

Apparently, I'm it...

2006-07-24T21:43:00.000-04:00

So, Bones tagged me for this so I would be forced to update this blog. So here goes..

5 things in my purse wallet

1. Drivers License
2. Natural Ice "Lip Protectant"
3. Gym membership card
4. Cell phone
5. A ridiculous amount of change

5 things in my refrigerator

1. Grovestand Orange Juice
2. Roast beef
3. A variety of pickles
4. Milk
5. Mango flavored water

5 things in my closet

1. Candle sconces
2. Bride's maid dress I wore in my sister's wedding
3. John William Waterhouse prints I haven't framed yet
4. Xbox 360 and Nintendo DS boxes (just in case...)
5. Empty picture frames

5 things in my car

1. Proof of insurance
2. A partially melted crayon
3. Jewel cases for Saliva and Willie Nelson CDs
4. A lab coat
5. 2 pairs of sunglasses

As for who gets tagged next, well, I think I'll just take volunteers. Anyone?

A Poem by W. B. Yeats

2006-06-06T22:38:00.000-04:00

Based on the poems I have previously posted, you may have thought I only liked Dorothy Parker. And I will admit that Mrs. Parker is a favorite, but I do have collections of other poets on the bookshelf. One of those other poets is W.B.Yeats. And among my favorites of his, is "The Stolen Child." (Note: If you don't have the patience to read the poem, there is a music rendition of it posted at the bottom of this entry. The musical version is by Loreena McKennitt, from the cd "Elemental.")

The Stolen Child

Where dips the rocky highland
Of Sleuth Wood in the lake,
There lies a leafy island
Where flapping herons wake
The drowsy water rats;
There we've hid our faery vats.
Full of berries,
And of reddest stolen cherries.
Come away, O human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand.

Where the wave of moonlight glosses
The dim gray sands with light,
Far off by furthest Rosses
We foot it all the night,
Weaving olden dances,
Mingling hands and mingling glances
Till the moon has taken flight;
To and fro we leap
And chase the frothy bubbles,
While the world is full of troubles
And is anxious in its sleep.
Come away, O human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand.

Where the wandering water gushes
From the hills above Glen-Car,
In pools among the rushes
That scarce could bathe a star,
We seek for slumbering trout,
And whispering in their ears
Give them unquiet dreams;
Leaning softly out
From ferns that frop their tears
Over the young streams,
Come away, O human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand.

Away with us he's going,
The solemn-eyed:
He'll hear no more the lowing
Of the calves on the warm hillside;
Or the kettle on the hob
Sing peace into his breast,
Or see the brown mice bob
Round and round the oatmeal-chest.
For he comes, the human child,
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
From a world more full of weeping than he can understand.

W.B. Yeats

I'm not sure how good the sound quality will be, but I thought we'd give it a try!!

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2006-05-09T18:44:00.000-04:00

A little tune for Bones, since he didn't like the Indigo Girls.

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Dogwoods and Daffodils

2006-04-28T22:50:00.000-04:00

Many people who have never visited the south have a very Faulknerian idea of what the spring and summer are like here. There is the idea of watching life pass from the front porch while sipping a mint julep or a sweet tea. (Ok, the sweet tea part is true.) The South as seen in movies like The Long Hot Summer doesn't really exist anymore, if it ever did. At least not for the majority of southerners.

Sometimes, it's hard to remember why I have stayed in the South.

But there's a few weeks every year, usually the 2-3 weeks leading up to Easter, when the only trees in bloom are the Dogwoods and Red Buds. The daffodils and tulips are in bloom, as well. Everyone has begun cutting their grass again.

As you drive along, you can see small clusters of Dogwoods covered in white and pink blooms in between the oaks and pines with wild daffodils scattered about and the sun dappled by the taller trees, and it feels almost like nature is sharing a secret with you. And in those moments, I can't imagine living anywhere else.

The song "Southland in the Springtime" by the Indigo Girls always reminds me of that feeling, so I hope you'll enjoy it, too.

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Poem of the Month

2006-04-21T01:19:00.000-04:00

The Flaw in Paganism

Drink and dance and laugh and lie,
Love, the reeling midnight through.
For tomorrow we shall die!
(But, alas, we never do.)

--Dorothy Parker

Why?

2006-04-20T18:57:00.000-04:00

I am not married.
I have never been married.
I may never get married...

And I'm ok with that.

All my male friends never have anything to say about my single status; they couldn't care less or at least they never mention it if they do. All my female friends want me to get married and have babies. I have an aunt who frequently expresses her concern to my mother over my single state. She thinks something is wrong with me because I'm not desparate for marriage at my advanced age of 31 (though why she has such a high opinion of marriage I'll never know. She's been married and divorced 3 times...those are the ones we know about, anyway).

The reasons I'm not married are as simple and as complicated as you want to make them. Simple because I've never been "in love." Complicated because I've never been in love due to fact that I've never been able to trust anyone that much. My trust issues go back to my childhood and I won't drag that baggage out today, except to say I've never been able to lose said baggage, unlike Delta Airlines who had no problem losing my baggage.

But regardless of my reasons, I'm like my life as it is. If I want to go to the movies or out to dinner or anywhere else, I go. Sometimes I go with friends and/or family; sometimes I go alone. At this point, I have trouble see myself as part of a couple.

So I guess my question is: if I'm happy with my life, why isn't everyone else?

other inspiration

2006-03-08T19:44:00.000-05:00

Rest In Pieces

Look at me, my depth perception must be off again
Cause this hurts deeper than I thought it did
It has not healed with time
It just shot down my spine _
You look so beautiful tonight
Remind me how you laid us down
And gently smiled before you destroyed my life

Would you find it in your heart
To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces
Would you find it in your heart?
To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces
Would you find it in your heart?
To make it go away
And let me rest in pieces

Look at me, my depth perception must be off again
You got much closer than I thought you did
I'm in your reach
You held me in your hands

But could you find it in your heart?
To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces
Would you find it in your heart?
To make it go away
And let me rest in

- From the album "Back Into Your System" by Saliva

so, maybe not demure

2006-03-02T20:12:00.000-05:00

Roundel

She's passing fair; but so demure is she,
So quiet is her gown, so smooth her hair,
That few there are who note her and agree
She's passing fair.

Yet when was ever beauty held more rare
Than simple heart and maiden modesty?
What fostered charms with virtue could compare?
Alas, no lover ever stops to see;
The best that she is offered is the air.
Yet- if the passing mark is minus D-
She's passing fair.

-Dorothy Parker

You may have noticed a familiar phrase in that poem. Yes, this poem was the inspiration for the name of this blog. The description also came from a poetic/lyrical inspiration. Would anyone care to guess the source?

Note to self

2006-01-31T21:18:00.000-05:00

To be added to my Netflix queue when space permits:

Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World
Why We Fight
On the Outs

These are all documentary/independent films, which means they won't be shown in any of the theaters in this area.

I also want to see Annapolis, but that is showing in the theaters here.

Anyone got any other suggestions for movies releasing in the next few weeks?

Checked Baggage

2006-01-31T21:03:00.000-05:00

Well, Memphis is a great town. I would love to go back one day. Next time I just hope my luggage arrives when I do. So, I arrive in Memphis last Tuesday morning to learn that my suitcase was not on the flight. I report it to the baggage claim office and am told it should arrive on a later flight and will be delivered to my hotel. They give me a file number and an 800 number to check the status. And I do check the status, every couple of hours. By 6pm, I still had no suitcase. The only things I had at this point were my wallet, my DS, and my glasses (this proved to be very fortunate). We go to dinner and then find a store where I can at least buy a shirt for the next day (at this point I still have hope that my suitcase will be delivered). Go back to the hotel and continue to call about my file status. Wake up Wednesday morning - still no suitcase. In fact, my suitcase and I were not reunited until Saturday, after I had been back home approximately 24 hours. I had 1 hour on Wednesday to go buy all the clothing I would need for the rest of the week, and a suitcase to take it all home in. As you may have guessed, I did not check anything for the return flight.

But I did enjoy Memphis...And I played a lot of Mario Kart!

Memphis, TN

2006-01-23T20:31:00.000-05:00

tomorrow morning at the unnatural hour of 6 am, i'm off to atlanta airport to fly to Memphis for 4 days. It is a work related trip, but i'm looking forward to it since I've never been to Memphis. of course, it would be even better if they hadn't extended the coverage on my pager...and if a couple of our travel companions would get lost on the way to the airport.

and, Bones, i haven't forgotten about Diamond.

the return of the 360

2006-01-09T14:12:00.000-05:00

I had to go by my house during lunch today to pick something up. And there on the steps was the box from the repair center, containing a new console and power cord. The unit is already setup, account has been recovered, and arcade games have been downloaded...

I am happy. Very happy.

Update on the update

2006-01-08T14:55:00.000-05:00

I intended to update this several days ago, but I do have some slacker tendencies. Oh well, at least I'm updating now.

Two days after my post about not having an xbox360, I got one. A friend was at Target and bought the last one they had on my behalf. It was a premium, too. Unfortunately, it apparently has a bad video card, and so, on January 5th, the unit was shipped to McAllen, TX for repair or replacement. I noticed as soon as I connected the unit to my television that would have to power cycle the unit as many as 4 times before anything would display on the screen. Then on December 31st, I started to get an error message. Called XBox support on Jan. 1, and spoke to a less than helpful CSR who told me to take the unit back to Target and exchange it. So, I called Target, and not so surprisingly, was informed they didn't have any, didn't know when they would be getting any or how many they would get. Called XBox Support back and spoke to a CSR who was not an idiot. He placed a repair order and told me I would be receiving a box for the unit. The unit arrived at the repair facility on Jan. 6th, so I hope to have my unit or a replacement by the end of this week or first of next week.

So, to tide me over in its absence, I've been playing some single and multi player black box games, as well as some Mario Kart and Animal Crossing on the Nintendo DS. I had never owned a handheld gaming system before the DS, and was not sure how much I would really play it, but now I love the DS. Mario Kart is the only racing game I have ever won a race in. For that matter, it is the only racing game I have never crashed within a few yards of the starting line. The DS will definitely be accompanying me on my upcoming trip to Memphis. Maybe by then I'll have worked the other three games (Space Invaders, Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories, and The Nightmare before Xmas: The Pumpkin King) I have for the DS into the rotation.

We got my dad's Christmas present on Xmas eve, but not because it finally arrive on Sears' delivery truck. When I called to check the status on the 24th, the manager told me it had not arrived, they were very sorry, and that they would look at the inventory of the store and see if they could put together a package that would be the equivalent of what I had ordered. About fifteen minutes later they called me back to say that even though it had not shown in the store inventory, they had found the exact item I had ordered hidden behind a display of table saws. True or not, I was made very happy by this, since the only other thing I had gotten my dad was a box of Little Debbie Nutty Bars as a joke. Christmas was saved!

the story so far

2005-12-21T22:26:00.000-05:00

just a little update/rant to fill the time.

1. I still have no XBox 360, probably won't have one until after the holidays.

2. There is now a DS under the Christmas tree with my name on it...along with the games Mario Kart, Animal Crossing, and Space Invaders!!!!

3. Sears sucks. I ordered my dad's Christmas gift on Dec. 2nd, and it should have been available for pickup on Dec 16th. However, it has not arrived at the local store and no one seems to know why. I have been told to check with them on Friday, since that is when the next delivery is scheduled. The thing that irritates me the most is that I have the make the 25 min drive everytime I want to check on the status, since the phone number I have for the store DOES NOT WORK. And none of the customer support people I've spoken to by calling the 800 number, don't know or won't give me a different number for the store.

But I digress, the drive wouldn't even be that bad if the store wasn't at the Auburn mall. Malls are evil. Malls during the Christmas season are HELL ON EARTH. All the people who normally can't be bothered to move from the sagging couch in their rusted out trailer descend on the mall en masse in order to buy each other the ugliest, most useless gifts seen in written history.

4. Just to end of a positive note - thank (insert deity of choice) I'm not on-call this week.

The Happy Couple + Carla

2005-12-07T20:00:00.000-05:00

The New Family
Originally uploaded by threels.

My sister, her husband, and his daughter. Although we have explained to them that if they should ever divorce, we're keeping the kid. They're on their own!

this month's DP poem

2005-11-13T18:43:00.000-05:00

because she says it so well...

Inventory

Four be the things I am wiser to know:
Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.

Four be the things I'd been better without:
Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.

Three be the things I shall never attain:
Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.

Three be the things I shall have till I die:
Laughter and hope and a sock in the eye.

- Dorothy Parker

Online gaming

2005-11-12T15:47:00.000-05:00

Now, for those of you who know me, you know I'm not the greatest gamer, but I enjoy playing. I play because I enjoy the interaction with other people who have some of the same interests and experiences.

I usually play with people I have met in person or with other gamers from gamertag.com. Playing with these groups is always a good time (even with lag). But last night a non-gt individual joined a game and it reminded me of why I don't like playing with the general public.

This kid (at least I hope he was a kid-that would be the quasi-reasonable excuse for his behavior) was rude and offensive from the moment he enter the room. First he wanted to know if a girl was playing, or was that a "little guy" talking. I responded that I was a woman. He then proceeds to give his opinion of the "hotness" of female gamers, especially those that play farcry. This young man had meet 1 female gamer that did not meet his standards apparently (she is not missing out of anything). From that meeting he concluded that all female gamers at "not hot." I am please to note that everyone else in the room, even the other non-gt people, jumped his case about these statements.

His behavior continued through at least one more game after which he accused me of really being an eight year old with a high pitched voice. Um, no. Definitely not an eight year old or a "little guy." anyway, the discussions disintegrated rapidly and most of the gt group left to open another idiot free room. I stayed to finish downloading the map, then the game started. Wouldn't you know, I was on the idiot's team. And what does he ask me? "threels, how old are you?". My response ("too old for you") was not to his liking. When I told him it wasn't any of his business, he decided it was ok to call me a bitch. Then when I called him on it, he tried to deny it. Idiot. Of course, I told him he was being a jackass, and needed to learn some manners, that only people who knew me well could call me a bitch to my face. His pithy response was "I have manners, I just don't use them." kid, you are going to go far in life acting like that.

I shortly thereafter left the game he was in and joined the new gt room. The world was then restored to it's rightful order.

it's not just the idiots trying to pickup girls/women, there are other behavior that irritate. Like the guy a couple of week ago in farcry who was tk'ing and ranting about how no game was as good as halo 2. Well, guy, go play halo and leave those of us in farcry alone.

it is because of people like those two that I rarely speak when playing with the general public. It is because of people like them that gaming has such a negative image in the eyes of so many. Why is it acceptable to behave like that?

I refuse to let those two and others like them spoil the fun I have online. Except for the idiot, I had a blast playing farcry last night. But it does re-enforce my dislike of playing with the general public. Don't think I'll do that again anytime soon.

current status

2005-10-20T20:58:00.000-04:00

It's been a while since I last posted, it's been fairly stressful for the last couple of weeks.

my grandmother has gone back into a nursing home. Her health continues to be bad, but the family has decided to just keep her comfortable, but that's not really where the stress has come from.

My mother has basically been demoted at work. It was an unexpected event. She went to a weekly meeting with her boss (a requirement for all the managers in that area) and was told that she wasn't doing the job the way her boss wanted it done; that in two weeks she would be moved into a different position, one that was not in management. Now, on the plus side this will give my mom more time to do the things she likes outside of work. No more middle of the night staffing calls, etc. I know that my mom does not have the strongest management skills around. She tends to treat her employees like they are her kids. Most of the time, this does not cause problems, but some people have taken advantage of her because of this habit. In her favor, she is probably one of the fairest managers in her area, but I guess fair doesn't count. There are 2 of the managers in that area who elect to divert attention from their own failings by undermining others and rather than bring issues to the attention of their contemporaries, they run to their boss.

I know there is nothing I can do about this, but I hate it that I can't fix this for my mother. I don't think the matter was handled well, or fairly. I guess we are lucky the boss at least waited until after my sister's wedding. My mom got the news on her 3rd day back at work after the wedding. and as angry as it makes me, I can't say anything to these people because I have to continue to deal with them in a support capacity.

Ahh well, at least I have Farcry to help relieve the stress. There is nothing like killing and being killed by friends, and then being able to laugh about it after.

2005-10-04T13:51:00.000-04:00

my sister is now married...

finally, after many months of planning and stress, my sister is married. the ceremony was nice (and blessedly short) and the reception had good food and good friends.

and all for about $6000 dollars (except we told my dad it was only about $3000 - i really did not want to listen to him about how much was spent...)

2005-09-11T19:14:00.000-04:00

for your enjoyment

my favorite dorothy parker poem...

Frustation

If I had a shiny gun,
I could have a world of fun
Speeding bullets through the brains
Of the folk who give me pains;

Or had I some poison gas,
I could make the moments pass
Bumping off a number of
People whom I do not love.

But I have no lethal weapon-
Thus does Fate our pleasure step on!
So they still are quick and well
Who should be, by rights, in hell.

2005-09-11T18:45:00.000-04:00

no end in sight...

wedding plans are progressing, slowly...but progressing. everyone has a dress or tux except the parents of the bride (that is this weeks project). the photographer has been paid. the florist has been confirmed and a deposit paid. invitations will go out this week. just 3 more weeks and it will all be over. right now, the groom has poison ivy. hopefully, he will be fully recovered by the wedding, or it will be a lonely wedding night for him.

i do have plans for after the wedding i'm excited about. my niece and i are going to watch the Corpse Bride. that should be fun...

my grandmother is back in the hospital. this time the site from her hip surgery is infected. additionally, her doctor thinks she may have a clot in her calf and is bleeding somewhere else. she needs a blood transfusion. my mom is upset, which i understand, but keeps asking why do these things keep happening to my grandmother. my mother and several of my cousins have a different view of my grandmother than i do. she was very supportive of my cousins, always available to them. my sister and i did not have that same type of relationship with her. my mother remembers all the things my grandmother went through during her (my mother's) childhood (my grandfather was an alcoholic, and drank until my mother was 12). i remember the ways my grandmother would try to manipulate and guilt my mother into things.

i'm not saying that my grandmother deserves what has happened to her...just that the end of her life is no less complicated than the rest of her life...

2005-08-28T21:11:00.000-04:00

I hate weddings...

remind me never to have one. my sister is getting married. yippee for her. unfortunately, she lives in Tuscaloosa and the wedding is here in our home town (a mere 3 hours away), leaving me and my mom to do most of the planning. however my mom has been busy lately with working and my grandmother (who is back in the hospital...more on that later). So, i've been printing the invitations and she calls me today to tell me i need to change the spelling of her husband-to-be's father's name. i had not printed that many, but still. the wedding is in 4 1/2 weeks. I HATE WEDDINGS!!!

my grandmother fell today (again) at her nursing home. last time, she had a subdural hematoma. this time, she has a broken hip. i think my great aunt is trying to make my mom feel guilty about putting her in a nursing home. i know my mom does not like seeing my grandmother in the condition she is in (no one would), but every time i spoke to her today, my mom sounded weepy. i can only hope she is not feeling guilty about my grandmother. my grandmother had reached the point where she needed around the clock care, and no one in my family was emotionally, financially, or physically able to provide that. the nursing home was the best place for her. and there is nothing anyone can do to change that.

on to lighter subjects, Transporter 2 opens in theaters next weekend. this is, of course, the sequel to The Transporter. Both movies feature Jason Statham (who is on my list of personal favorites with Vin and Josey). downside is that i am on call for the next two weeks, so probably won't get to see it until after. i am really looking forward to this movie. if it follows the pattern set by the first, there should be some excellent fighting sequences, as well as some amazing driving scenes.

2005-08-21T23:08:00.000-04:00

well, things have improved slightly, i suppose. my grandmother has gone back to the nursing home, the relative i hate to love has gone home, and the relative i love to hate only calls 4-5 times a day instead of 10. the doctors think her bleed is resolving itself, but one of the xray reports of her hip mentioned something about a malignancy. Regardless of the final diagnosis/findings the plan is the same. we will do nothing, for the previously stated reasons.

my parents brought the kids of a guy my mom's trying to help out home with them from church. the father has an surgical site infection and needed to go to the emergency room. he has custody because the mother was caught smoking marijuana while pregnant with the 4 month old, and giving beer to the 15 month old. both kids have sweet dispositions, and are well behaved but are underdeveloped. the 4 month old is still small for 0-3 month clothes, and the 15 month old only says 2-3 words. i don't know if i trust the father and everything he says, but i feel so sorry for the kids. the mother, who has visitation (this is another tangent), brought the kids back today at 6pm and they are both sunburned. the little boy is wearing clothes that are too small for him. the diaper bag reeks of cigarette smoke and there are no diapers for the little boy.

all that leads me to this, people should have to get permits before they have children. these two people should never have been parents

perhaps the only real positive for me today is the fact that my internet connection is working again. it was been up and down all weekend (mostly down).

and one more thing before i go...i just watched tonight's episode of Wanted. i watch this show for 1 reason and 1 reason only...Josey Scott. unfortunately, it is not as rewarding an exercise as it could be. the show needs more josey, less everyone else...

2005-08-17T04:03:00.000-04:00

I am sitting in the dark of my grandmother's hospital room. Sleep for me has been minimal, but I think this is the best night of sleep she has had in a long time. My grandmother is 76 years old and was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease about 5 years ago. My mother has custody of her, and has had since shortly after the diagnosis. She is in a nursing home, and yesterday morning she fell. Now she looks like she has been in a brawl. Her right eye is black and there is a laceration above it. Initially, we thought the worst injury would be a broken hip, but we were wrong. As it turns out, she didn't break any bones in her fall, but she does have a subdermal hematoma. There is a bleed in her brain. And all we can do is wait...

If the bleed resolves itself, she should be fine. The damage to her brain from the alzheimer's allows for more swelling than usual. If the bleed does not resolve itself, then the pressure on her brain will increase to the point where all bodily function will cease. This has caused no small degree of distress for some of my relatives.

I just can't get that upset about it, though. My person in that hospital bed is not the grandmother I remember. My grandmother no longer exists in that body. She has no quality of life, does not know who anyone is anymore. She has called me by a variety of names, none of which is my own. To do anything to prolong her life would only be selfish.

On to less weighty issues, but important none the less. Several months ago, I moved back in with my parents in order to save money for the down payment on a house (I have rented for several years, and have found renting is not conducive to saving money). I dread the thought of having to look for a house.

My mother has made a suggestion that my parents put my name on the deed of their home, then I get home improvement loan to update several areas of the house as well as add space to the back of the house where my room is to create a suite of rooms for me, a mother-in-law suite if you will without the mother-in-law.

Now I just have to decide if that is what I want to do...

2005-08-03T13:14:00.000-04:00

I remember when I was a kid and it seemed like the days would last forever. I had time to do everything I wanted to, and still had time left to sit around and complain about being bored. What happened? I know...I grew up, I'm an adult, blah, blah, blah. That is not a reasonable explanation. Sure, I work more hours than I was in school, but now I don't have homework. Being single, I don't even pretend to cook for myself. Where is the time going??? All I really want is a couple of extra hours a day to kill and be killed by my friends while playing video games...

This feeling of not enough time is currently compounded by the stress of my sister's wedding. It is not my wedding, however, I think I am stressing over this more than my mom or my sister. The wedding is in less than 2 months, and we still don't have a complete plan for anything, and I do mean anything, associated with this wedding.

My mom thinks I need to be medicated because of my growing impatience with people. I think I just need people to be less stupid in my presence. The number of stupid people seems to be growing at a ridiculous rate. I know I am in the south, and even worse [gasp] Alabama, but there can not be that much inbreeding going on. Perhaps it's the water (my personal excuse for not drinking the water).