I hate weddings...

remind me never to have one. my sister is getting married. yippee for her. unfortunately, she lives in Tuscaloosa and the wedding is here in our home town (a mere 3 hours away), leaving me and my mom to do most of the planning. however my mom has been busy lately with working and my grandmother (who is back in the hospital...more on that later). So, i've been printing the invitations and she calls me today to tell me i need to change the spelling of her husband-to-be's father's name. i had not printed that many, but still. the wedding is in 4 1/2 weeks. I HATE WEDDINGS!!!

my grandmother fell today (again) at her nursing home. last time, she had a subdural hematoma. this time, she has a broken hip. i think my great aunt is trying to make my mom feel guilty about putting her in a nursing home. i know my mom does not like seeing my grandmother in the condition she is in (no one would), but every time i spoke to her today, my mom sounded weepy. i can only hope she is not feeling guilty about my grandmother. my grandmother had reached the point where she needed around the clock care, and no one in my family was emotionally, financially, or physically able to provide that. the nursing home was the best place for her. and there is nothing anyone can do to change that.

on to lighter subjects, Transporter 2 opens in theaters next weekend. this is, of course, the sequel to The Transporter. Both movies feature Jason Statham (who is on my list of personal favorites with Vin and Josey). downside is that i am on call for the next two weeks, so probably won't get to see it until after. i am really looking forward to this movie. if it follows the pattern set by the first, there should be some excellent fighting sequences, as well as some amazing driving scenes.

well, things have improved slightly, i suppose. my grandmother has gone back to the nursing home, the relative i hate to love has gone home, and the relative i love to hate only calls 4-5 times a day instead of 10. the doctors think her bleed is resolving itself, but one of the xray reports of her hip mentioned something about a malignancy. Regardless of the final diagnosis/findings the plan is the same. we will do nothing, for the previously stated reasons.

my parents brought the kids of a guy my mom's trying to help out home with them from church. the father has an surgical site infection and needed to go to the emergency room. he has custody because the mother was caught smoking marijuana while pregnant with the 4 month old, and giving beer to the 15 month old. both kids have sweet dispositions, and are well behaved but are underdeveloped. the 4 month old is still small for 0-3 month clothes, and the 15 month old only says 2-3 words. i don't know if i trust the father and everything he says, but i feel so sorry for the kids. the mother, who has visitation (this is another tangent), brought the kids back today at 6pm and they are both sunburned. the little boy is wearing clothes that are too small for him. the diaper bag reeks of cigarette smoke and there are no diapers for the little boy.

all that leads me to this, people should have to get permits before they have children. these two people should never have been parents

perhaps the only real positive for me today is the fact that my internet connection is working again. it was been up and down all weekend (mostly down).

and one more thing before i go...i just watched tonight's episode of Wanted. i watch this show for 1 reason and 1 reason only...Josey Scott. unfortunately, it is not as rewarding an exercise as it could be. the show needs more josey, less everyone else...

I am sitting in the dark of my grandmother's hospital room. Sleep for me has been minimal, but I think this is the best night of sleep she has had in a long time. My grandmother is 76 years old and was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease about 5 years ago. My mother has custody of her, and has had since shortly after the diagnosis. She is in a nursing home, and yesterday morning she fell. Now she looks like she has been in a brawl. Her right eye is black and there is a laceration above it. Initially, we thought the worst injury would be a broken hip, but we were wrong. As it turns out, she didn't break any bones in her fall, but she does have a subdermal hematoma. There is a bleed in her brain. And all we can do is wait...

If the bleed resolves itself, she should be fine. The damage to her brain from the alzheimer's allows for more swelling than usual. If the bleed does not resolve itself, then the pressure on her brain will increase to the point where all bodily function will cease. This has caused no small degree of distress for some of my relatives.

I just can't get that upset about it, though. My person in that hospital bed is not the grandmother I remember. My grandmother no longer exists in that body. She has no quality of life, does not know who anyone is anymore. She has called me by a variety of names, none of which is my own. To do anything to prolong her life would only be selfish.

On to less weighty issues, but important none the less. Several months ago, I moved back in with my parents in order to save money for the down payment on a house (I have rented for several years, and have found renting is not conducive to saving money). I dread the thought of having to look for a house.

My mother has made a suggestion that my parents put my name on the deed of their home, then I get home improvement loan to update several areas of the house as well as add space to the back of the house where my room is to create a suite of rooms for me, a mother-in-law suite if you will without the mother-in-law.

Now I just have to decide if that is what I want to do...

I remember when I was a kid and it seemed like the days would last forever. I had time to do everything I wanted to, and still had time left to sit around and complain about being bored. What happened? I know...I grew up, I'm an adult, blah, blah, blah. That is not a reasonable explanation. Sure, I work more hours than I was in school, but now I don't have homework. Being single, I don't even pretend to cook for myself. Where is the time going??? All I really want is a couple of extra hours a day to kill and be killed by my friends while playing video games...

This feeling of not enough time is currently compounded by the stress of my sister's wedding. It is not my wedding, however, I think I am stressing over this more than my mom or my sister. The wedding is in less than 2 months, and we still don't have a complete plan for anything, and I do mean anything, associated with this wedding.

My mom thinks I need to be medicated because of my growing impatience with people. I think I just need people to be less stupid in my presence. The number of stupid people seems to be growing at a ridiculous rate. I know I am in the south, and even worse [gasp] Alabama, but there can not be that much inbreeding going on. Perhaps it's the water (my personal excuse for not drinking the water).