Wednesday, August 17, 2005

I am sitting in the dark of my grandmother's hospital room. Sleep for me has been minimal, but I think this is the best night of sleep she has had in a long time. My grandmother is 76 years old and was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease about 5 years ago. My mother has custody of her, and has had since shortly after the diagnosis. She is in a nursing home, and yesterday morning she fell. Now she looks like she has been in a brawl. Her right eye is black and there is a laceration above it. Initially, we thought the worst injury would be a broken hip, but we were wrong. As it turns out, she didn't break any bones in her fall, but she does have a subdermal hematoma. There is a bleed in her brain. And all we can do is wait...

If the bleed resolves itself, she should be fine. The damage to her brain from the alzheimer's allows for more swelling than usual. If the bleed does not resolve itself, then the pressure on her brain will increase to the point where all bodily function will cease. This has caused no small degree of distress for some of my relatives.

I just can't get that upset about it, though. My person in that hospital bed is not the grandmother I remember. My grandmother no longer exists in that body. She has no quality of life, does not know who anyone is anymore. She has called me by a variety of names, none of which is my own. To do anything to prolong her life would only be selfish.

On to less weighty issues, but important none the less. Several months ago, I moved back in with my parents in order to save money for the down payment on a house (I have rented for several years, and have found renting is not conducive to saving money). I dread the thought of having to look for a house.

My mother has made a suggestion that my parents put my name on the deed of their home, then I get home improvement loan to update several areas of the house as well as add space to the back of the house where my room is to create a suite of rooms for me, a mother-in-law suite if you will without the mother-in-law.

Now I just have to decide if that is what I want to do...

1 comment:

Bones said...

So sorry to hear about all this. Keep your head up, I know how you feel about it not being the same person. We went through the same thing with my great grandmother when I was 18, she had no idea who I was and actually thought my brother and I were girls. I hope everything works out ok.